Tuesday, July 15

=)

As the love of my life left.. I hear the sounds of my heart breaking and my love life collapse upon me just in that moment.. I was in pieces.. Hoping that someone would be kind enough to pick me up.. and put me back to the form when i was once truly happy.. Holding back my tears as i tried to race against the wind.. I ran and ran and ran there it was.. Where my ticket stood still.. The ticket home.. My brother arrived to pick me up from school.. He wanted to have some ice cream too, not knowing how i felt.. The feeling of crying my eyes out and then the head bursting effect made me desperately persuaded him not to have some and just send me home..

He sensed something wrong and just obliged to what i asked for.. The moment i tot i would be able to relieve the tension in me.. my mother came.. i have to hold back again.. my heart is broken and i couldn't take it anymore.. inappropriate ways of releasing stress is a big problem.. I knew about it.. and now to not hurt others but onli myself... I found a way of releasing it and that's by releasing my anger and sadness by crying it out as the pain slits through my hand - i started to cut myself again..

No matter how painful it is.. It will be gone in a while.. But the pain in the heart will need lots of time to heal.. It was in such tender care and now it's trying to fit in but just couldnt.. The pain of sitting beside someone u love but yet cant give him a hug or kiss him b4 i leave to places.. To have someone on the phone all the time happy to hear u and will be with u whenever u nid him.. My dream was crushed.. My ambition, hope, cheerfulness went along with it..

Gloomy like the sky today.. Shining dimly in a corner.. Waiting for a miracle to happen when tears roll down my cheeks, waiting for someone to wipe my tears for me.. I looked everywhere, hoping to find the one who would do it.. Nobody came.. NOBODY.. I was left alone just there and then.. All the while no matter how angry i am or whatever i will not miss my meals.. But i lost my appetite.. My dessert was taken by someone else and the appetizers disappeared..

The person who i share my feelings to and the excitement in school that happened is sick of listening.. He want to listen no more and asked me to move on with life happily.. Crap =)


I will not live happily when i dun have someone to share things with..

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