heart ache

oh baby.. =( i feel like the worst gf ever.. yesterday cant
today cant then mayb tomoro also cant. have to follow my family to bring my cousin's family to batu cave then to visit my father's fren's house for hari raya..


suddenly. i feel so useless.. i tot i would have time.,

i'm so sorrieee...

Hubby~

It hasnt been easy.
to breathe when u're not around
my heart is hollow
when i dun hear u safe and sound

i panicked badly..
when it comes to eu
even if it's a tiny problem.
i'm afraid if might affect eu..

we will both stand strong..
as we connect..
so now.. i've found ur USB port
take off ur ear so that i can put my thumbdrive in ><>

Baby =P i lurbiieee euu!~

lao gong..
every moment i'm thinking bout u
every second u cross my mind
i couldnt choose wat i have to pick
my things or u..

i cant help being jealous of u r sister
nor silly
cos they get to see u everyday but i dont..

u are so close to my heart but so far away from my eyes
u are so important to me but yet tender

i will treat u well and i will love u
from the bottom of my heart i'll dig..
a space just to fit u
comfortably..

i wan u bad
to be my side.
to hug me tight
side by side.

to lie on the bed and rest our minds
to look up at the sky and ennjoy the scenary
is wat i wish to do with u

flooding my mind with images of eu now
imagining the things that we can do together
the times we can share together.

the memories we share.
the things that we've prepared.
for our loving future.
that requires nurture.

we will provide watever it's needed.
to the ones that we pleaded.
i now love eu
and i know i truly do.
the final true love that i've seeked for
is definitely eu

i'm sorri i couldnt come today
i'm really sorrieee
i feel bad as things changed
things didnt go exactly we planned.
i love eu baby pls forgivie me..
i will bou fan for u on another day!

Guiltiness..

you said u love me.
but it doesnt seem to be
u tried to kiss me
but it didnt happen


i kept walking
slower than a grandmother walking
turning back
hoping to see a person i'm no longer familiar with making sure i'm safe

wat was i thinking hoping.


It was all a lie.. a lie to him to u and to myself
i managed to get over with u and him
but not myself
i clearly know myself
who i loved


and now i lie to myself the best i can
telling myself that it's all bullshit of wat u told me
so it wouldnt happen again
thinking that u have someone important in ur heart
i broke my own.

eventhough u told me u still loved me
i almost slipped.
i did not believe.
u looked so bothered.
my heart ached.
i hold up myself
and gave myself couraged..

i did wat's right
when i have the right.
but i left broken
as i wasnt when i reached

i sacrificed once again.
and i felt the pain.

the one

I finally found that was embeded inside my mind
the one that i'm looking for all the time
the person whom i'll love and respect
to look at up him as my bloody husband


Ur arms are around me now
as i type this post.
in ur house is where u host
u were great checking on silly
so now i can stop the worry
and let u carry..


i put my ego aside
and be with eu..
to have things the way u want it
or like the way i do.
it doesnt matter as we're both together
together and never we're forever.

in my heart is where u belong.
to kiss and hug is what we both love.
to be in each others arms when we both need love.

i love u sweetie oh yes i do
dun worri anymore as i am here for eu
although it still bothers me abt them.

but i know that u'll be with me till the very end..

without ur existence. i wouldnt survive lao gong..

without u keeping me warm i would perish in the cold.

i love eu

Baby!

i'm so glad to have eu in my arms
u always clear all my boundaries
and carried the burden with me

stayed up late with me cos i cant sleep
call me during midnite becos i had a nightmare

solving the problems that i couldnt in my mind
hugged me tight when i felt insecure
ur cute for afraid of losing me,
but u know wat
i'm afraid of losing eu too!

the last thing that i wanna do on earth.
is to part with u baby
it would equal to using a chainsaw
and cutting apart of my ears eyes heart body nose and love

the ring that i've been wearing.
symbolises something.
that u are my something.
and i would be worried of u
even if it's just slight cough..

my heart would ache
as ur sick..

come with me and bring me to the paradise
that i've been longing to go.
paradise of onli our world and nobody else.
where there'll onli be..
you and me..
you are the treasure of my life...
i'm never gonna let eu go.!

i love eu lots lots!

New Chapter of life..

Trapped in where i didnt want to be
and now i'm free to be who i want to be..

Loving exactly the person i nid
and his love for me is all i nid..

being with him felt nasty
but now baby with u i feel happy.

and support is all u've been giving me ..
and problems were all i was providing..
u bared with it without a word
of leaving me..

i love u sweetheart..
from the bottom of my heart..

u've healed me..
from my past..


and now.. it's time to fix
what i've missed.
to investigate the mistakes.
and correct them from wrong to right

it might be sad
oh yes mayb..
but i'm sure.. we can go through this..
as u and me
are as one.