3/ 10 /2008

the wind was strong
where things were wrong
i sat on the platform
under the storm.

i was covered
in rain water..
mixed with tears.

i was stupid.
i fell for it.
i felt nervous
cos i was gonna kick it

confused and angry
i walked under the rain..
tripped and fell
hurt and bleed
both physically and mentally..
i was injured.

healing was almost complete
but i fell again
and all of it dropped from 80 to 40..

the wind was howling
my hair was flying
i was crying
while my legs were bleeding..

i rubbed my tears
then my legs.
got up.
and continued walking..

the rain.
i wish
would wash away the pain
the wounds
and
me..


sometimes.
i feel that life is precious
sometimes
i feel that living is no longer
a value..
i am weak
but i am strong
i am accompanied
but sometimes lonely

i am with eu baby
but
time ticks exceptionally slow.
when u're not in front of my eyes.

u hold me in ur arms.
when it was raining.
we both walked under the rain..
i lied on ur shoulder.
i was tired.
finally
a place for me to rest on..

u asked me not to push myself too hard.
but the pain was in my heart.
i felt that i've done nothing.
worthy enough to carry the title of my mother's daughter..

i feel..
nothing
but
useless
pain
stupid
worthless

she called me treasure.
she called me baby
cos i lied to her
that my frens would fetch me..
but silently
i walked under the rain
i didnt wanna go home.
sat silently under the rain

i wished. she had a better daughter
i wished she would get more rests.
b4 she would have to wake up early in the morning and fetch me to school again
so i told her. i lied to her

mom.
my fren's are fetching me back.
when i reached home
i was drenched in both sweat and rain water.

so she asked..
ur frens drop u downstairs ma? didnt see u de.
then i answered.
i walked.
cos i wanted u to rest.

she held me tight in her arms.
wiping all my pains away
i wanted to broke down
but i know it would hurt her
so i held back.

i love eu mom.
there's so many things i wanna tell eu
but i dun seem to have a chance
u never seem to bother
so it's okay
i know
that u're working hard for us
u dun have time to waste
cos u've got lots of work to do.

my heart is shattered. one hug
one kiss
just
10 seconds of love.
will shape and mould my heart back to how u created it
a mother's love.
cant be explained.
it's a mystery.

and my mother
like mothers.
are indulged in the mysteries.
she will be part of my history.
and i really do love eu mommy.