because of u

because of u.

 tears stream down my face everyday.

because u left.

i had no more motivation for anything.

because u're alone.

it makes me feel like dying, leaving u alone, not taken care of.

because u're not with me.

i look forward to seeing u.

because u said no.

i'm short of breathe everyday.

because u said u love me.

i couldnt let u go.

because u really captured my heart.

and now it takes forever for me to get over u..

becos of u. 

i've learnt to have faith.

becos of u 

i've learnt to believe..

becos of u.. 

my eyes will be unable to sustain the flood happening inside.

becos of u.

it feels heavy.

becos of u..

becos of uu..

happinesss. emerged in me.

hope and excitement.

love and patience.

i dun care bout anything. 

i'd give u everything.

i'd stay up till late when u need me..

i'd love u with my very best and pamper u like my dewey.

i'd be with u when u have problems.

u'd have my attention when u need someone to talk to.

i'd save myself up all for you..

for you.

i'd learn to be independent.

becos of you..

i couldnt go to sleep.

becos of u

i couldnt focus.

becos u're not here. 

i am distracted..

i :

i) want to hold u

ii) wan to kiss u

iii) wan to feel ur existence.

iv) miss you

v) need you

vi) feel sick without you

vii) feel uncomfortable 

viii) stay by my phone waiting for ur call.

viv) am afraid when i call u u'd hang up on me

vv) am afraid that u'd say dun ever call me again.

theres so much to say.

my bf.

do i have one?

the person i love.

he loves me too.

but it's impossible.

a boundary drawn by ourselves.

take a risk dammit!

i need you.

this sucks. to have swollen eyes every morning. to have sleepless nites with tears as company.

to talk and hug my pillow hallucinating about u. the numb feeling with me all the time.

all this. u can wipe away.

mentioned above. are things that u were able to do to me. 

and yet. u say that u cant give me anything? 

time. reassurance . love. patience. 

what more can i ask for? 

leaving me is not gonna do me any good. in healing.

loving me and leaving me is not doing any good for u.

missing me yet holding back is something u dun have to do.

unnecessary actions. can be cut off. 

have i loved u not enough?

have u not loved me with ur heart?

i hate to be alone.

and i'm alone now.