for you my darlings.

i found your eyes
but i had to tore my eyes from yours
while the needle penetrates my skin
you looked away
but then you looked at me.

i squeezed your arm in pain
so did ur eyes.
for a moment we held our breathe and stopped breathing
i looked up to you.
you were looking at my arm.

you pulled the needle out gently
and kissed my forehead lightly.
you whispered i love you
but your smile faded too soon.

your face turned so numb and sore
but u still forced a smile like before
my heart was stabbed right in the core
it all happened like nothing before
non that i've tried. non that i've tasted.

you put another one in
and i wanted to scream.
i held it withh me
and exhaled to relieve the pain.

you looked at me in wonder
and i reached out to kiss
and we both broke off into the true love kiss song
teasing. each other how obvious that we were tone deaf
we laughed badly
and i pretended that it didnt hurt.
cos the needle was still in me.

you immediately pulled out the needle
and said oops! i'm so soorry my angel.
my tears burst out from my eyes.
and you smile and then frowned.
cos the tears wouldn't stop

and that was then the vomitting started.
you held my hair for me.
i told you to get out.
but you just kept quiet and held my hair
you fed me water. and looked after me

you held me up
after i clung on to the toilet bowl for much too long
i couldn't get up by myself.
you grabbed me by the waist.
and supported most of my weights.

i straightened my legs and
you carried me to the bed. lay me there again
waiting for the next to come.
i was sweating badly.
i'm so sorry you have to do this for me
i tot you would've just left just like him

but i did not foresee what this would bring you
lose your job? or an decrease in salary.
your almost out of lifts to apply my dear.

i believe i can take care of myself.
i'll just sleep in the bathroom next time with a cup of water.

i'm sorri i couldn't repay you with money
i am totally broke from my hospital fees.
i'm sorri i dirtied your shirt accidently.
i swear i'll get you another one perhaps from duty frees.
dun worri. i have good tastes.

perhaps right after when i've broken free.
you've succesful created a special bond.
with love and concern.
with care and patience.
with you and me.

i guess.
i'm gonna try this.
one more time.
but for now.
i'm sorrie.

i am just not ready.
=)

ur forehead creased everytime you see me in pain
a smile was all i was able to provide to smoothen your skin.
everytime when i slid the bolt home
i start to think what u've done.
it touches my heart.
so much.

thank you.
for everything that u've done.
for me.
i'm really grateful.