Every morning i wake up, numbness take over me..


now..

hot water can no longer scald but but distractions/ flashbacks.



knives can no longer make be bleed but memories..


drugs never worked and make me vomit all night.. becos





i'm immune to it.. and it's unable to knock me off anymore..



've been silently taking sleeping pills everynite..




drugs.. can u take away the numb that is stuck in me? the dark circles under my eyes...
the sorrow deep in me that i'm unable to deal with



i've tasted heaven and i am now tasting hell... God take me away, i've had enough. if you wouldnt Satan will..


when will u take me.. i'm ready now.. now will be perfect.. not later or earlier just now...

now..

take me away.. to send me to hell or heaven..




i have tasted them both..



just gazing in ur eyes i tasted the corner of it..


u put ur hand under my chin and held my face up.. gaze into my eyes..


u broke my defense.




u put ur hands on my shoulders..


i fail once more....



i tot i could make it... i did.. for the first.. but couldnt for the second..


such brown eyes...
so beautiful...


can i ever say no?





yes i did. =] we talked it out face to face and i did it fighting against the urge for my tears to rush out .. i managed to forced out a smile.. i tot u fell for it..

u lookede up at me with curiousity and look back down again..


my true love in front of me beside me cms away. and i cant. touch cant tell how much i love him.



and i have to watch him love someone else..




so close yet so far...





i cant.. it is impossible... but with u it is not impossible.. it's wats best for both =] out of ur sight